New Beginnings...

Another year has gone by and boy has it been a big year of change, bad and good...

Your probably wondering how could there be any good that has come out of the past year but trust me when I say that light shines through darkness and you can always find the good even in the bad. Yes, 2020 was a year of despair and fear but it was also a year of reflection and deliverance (at least for me). It was definitely a year of change. A change that was uncomfortable and unsettling. A change that has led a lot of us to stop and reflect on our lives. A change that has been "a wake up call," as it showed us that we are not in control. Most importantly, it has been a change that involuntarily and voluntarily changed us.

2020 was by far the hardest year for me, for all of us, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and that's a lot "ly's"  for anyone to handle but by God's mercy and grace I've made and keep making it through day by day. Nonetheless and weirdly enough, it's been the best year for personal change and what I would call the "turning point" of my life. God convicted me to consider the way I've been living my life, which was not horribly but not exactly the way God had intended for me to live and so he started to turn my life around bit by bit. What a hard process that was and still is because during that time God broke me down in order to build me up and refine me for whatever his plan is for me now and moving forward. I had to face myself, my insecurities, put closure on past pains and those demons behind my depression, which were such battles but God ensured me that I was not fighting those battles alone. I had to face what was uncomfortable and really search my heart and embrace corrections. This was the hardest process because it required me to trust God through everything I was facing (despite what things might have looked like) and start to follow God wholeheartedly. 

It has been a year of true emotional turmoil and I've really been sowing my seeds in tears but because of that I know that the new (healthier) me in this year 2021 will reap the harvest in joy no matter what the world looks like right now. For the Lord says: "For I know the plans I have for you/plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). Even in times of chaos God will be faithful to his word because there is nothing impossible for him no matter what. So, "I forget the past what is behind me and struggle ahead towards the high calling of God" (Philippians 3:13, 14). I have hopes for this year despite all of the negativity and that's faith, hoping and expecting in the unseen, which is so fitting as the new word from my church for this year is to keep the faith. Keep the faith through the uncertainty, fear, chaos and even when it does not make sense, keep the faith because that is how you will be able to stand during these times. 

Change is hard and some changes are bad like the world we are living in now. However, there are some changes that start out ugly like a caterpillar (lol) and takes time to develop but in due time it will blossom into a beautiful butterfly (I know your cringing at this metaphor because I am as I write it)... But, as long as you have faith that the end product will be beautiful it's worth the wait.