How to be truly happy in a season of singleness (Part 2)
I hope you guys liked last week's blog on how to be a happy single and as promised here is the sequel where I will be telling you three more secrets to being happy in your season of singleness!
After you've overcome loneliness and have taken the time out to self-evaluate and
distinguish your needs from your wants, you have to face the unavoidable, which is seeing other people in relationships around you.
distinguish your needs from your wants, you have to face the unavoidable, which is seeing other people in relationships around you.
4. Face the F. O. M. O of not having/being in a relationship while everyone else is in one
It's easier and can even be a motivation to be happy and comfortable single when everyone else around you is single but it can get harder to deal with when you are single and there are people around you who are not. This next stage is a real tester because it can make or break you. The fear of missing out can either have you going back to your ex who was TOTALLY wrong for you or have you jumping into a new relationship at the wrong time, leading you to make the same mistakes over again... This past summer was my FOMO tester because I was surrounded by non-single people at work and the place I was living at the time, which brought me a mixture of emotions. At one point, I felt that sense of loneliness bubbling back up but as I kept reminding myself that being single and waiting is the better choice I was able to be comfortable and okay with couples around me. I also overcame that little feeling of loneliness by getting to the root of it when I realized that it was deeper than the fear of missing out on a relationship and took actions towards fixing it. Facing the FOMO of not being in a relationship builds your strength and confidence in becoming comfortable with yourself and your choice to be happy with yourself before being happy with anyone else.
5. Establish your standards
One thing that I realized that I did and probably what a lot of us do when we are sick of being single is lower our standards. When you lower your standards you are making the choice to not look at what you deserve in a partner. There is a lot of debate on this term "lowering standards," as some might see it as a positive thing to do because some people have unrealistic expectations that they sometimes don't even meet themselves and I don't disagree with that view...This is why it's so important to set realistic standards that meets your needs. Setting standards does not mean you are stuck up or that you think you are better than someone else, it means that you are trying to find someone that is on the same level as you, which can be in mindset, maturity, beliefs, ect. When you set your standards and do not lower them it's you showing that you know your worth and also you deciding not to settle for less just to say you are in a "relationship." I once heard someone say that settling is like buying a pair of knock-off shoes that you get for cheap but is not as good as waiting and saving up your money for the real deal, which will last you a long time. Similarly, it's like when we settle for things by doing it our own way instead of trusting, waiting, and letting God be in control because what he has is way better than what we could ever imagine and do for ourselves. It reminds me of this picture I've seen:
It's easier and can even be a motivation to be happy and comfortable single when everyone else around you is single but it can get harder to deal with when you are single and there are people around you who are not. This next stage is a real tester because it can make or break you. The fear of missing out can either have you going back to your ex who was TOTALLY wrong for you or have you jumping into a new relationship at the wrong time, leading you to make the same mistakes over again... This past summer was my FOMO tester because I was surrounded by non-single people at work and the place I was living at the time, which brought me a mixture of emotions. At one point, I felt that sense of loneliness bubbling back up but as I kept reminding myself that being single and waiting is the better choice I was able to be comfortable and okay with couples around me. I also overcame that little feeling of loneliness by getting to the root of it when I realized that it was deeper than the fear of missing out on a relationship and took actions towards fixing it. Facing the FOMO of not being in a relationship builds your strength and confidence in becoming comfortable with yourself and your choice to be happy with yourself before being happy with anyone else.
5. Establish your standards
One thing that I realized that I did and probably what a lot of us do when we are sick of being single is lower our standards. When you lower your standards you are making the choice to not look at what you deserve in a partner. There is a lot of debate on this term "lowering standards," as some might see it as a positive thing to do because some people have unrealistic expectations that they sometimes don't even meet themselves and I don't disagree with that view...This is why it's so important to set realistic standards that meets your needs. Setting standards does not mean you are stuck up or that you think you are better than someone else, it means that you are trying to find someone that is on the same level as you, which can be in mindset, maturity, beliefs, ect. When you set your standards and do not lower them it's you showing that you know your worth and also you deciding not to settle for less just to say you are in a "relationship." I once heard someone say that settling is like buying a pair of knock-off shoes that you get for cheap but is not as good as waiting and saving up your money for the real deal, which will last you a long time. Similarly, it's like when we settle for things by doing it our own way instead of trusting, waiting, and letting God be in control because what he has is way better than what we could ever imagine and do for ourselves. It reminds me of this picture I've seen:
6. Enjoy being single!!!
In this season of singleness try to focus on other things. Work on yourself so that whenever you are ready to date again or for the first time, you won't bring any of your personal baggage into the relationship. Spend time with God! Also, take advantage of your singleness by doing things you've always wanted to do for yourself because when you are in a relationship you are not as free to just do whatever you please, you have to consider the other person... For me, it was traveling and doing my last semester abroad for almost 6 months and not having to worry about someone else. I've had friends tell me stories of other friends who couldn't go abroad because their partner did not want them to or I've seen some people not fully enjoy themselves because they had to worry about the partner they left behind. I was so glad that I did not have any attachments so that I could enjoy my whole experience! When you start enjoying yourself you tend to forget that you are even single and it's always when you are not looking you meet someone. Being confident and unapologetically happy with yourself will attract the right person because healthy attracts healthy.
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